Notes from Relate Conference 2023
Main Session
Pastor Rick Bezet // @rickbezet
Stay under the covering- one that counts.
If you don’t leave with a blessing, people will leave you without your blessing.
Are you open to the Holy Spirit working in you?
Be real because fake is exhausting.
You can’t be transparent with everyone but be authentic with everyone.
We need relationships that can check us.
Don’t be afraid - it’s go time!
Most of the time you are most anointed where you are most afraid.
God’s got you.
Round Table // Healthy Boundaries in Ministry
Pastor Adam & Squeeze Willis
Let the ugly things be exposed so you can experience freedom.
Although we are different, what keeps us together is the cross.
Be proactive. Take radical responsibility for your freedom.
Boundaries are limits. Healthy boundaries protect us from resentment, hurt, anger, burnout and sin.
Stop trying to be the Holy Spirit to everyone.
Say “I am a limited being.”
If the devil can’t get you to do bad things he will keep you busy.
Trauma freezes time.
Above all else, guard your heart.
Become a student of your heart.
I am not entitled to the anger I feel.
When you say yes to something, you say no to something else.
Please don’t give up. We need you.
Keep your hand to the plow, but your heart at rest.
Have a life giving list.
Expectations have built in resentment.
Round Table // Marriage & Ministry
Kay and Chris
Ministry is to my family first.
If not careful, the church can become your mistress.
Ministry can dominate our life, if you don't know how to set good boundaries.
The best gift you can give your spouse is your personal growing relationship with God. When your relationship with God starts failing, your family sees it first, then your ministry.
Effective communication is key. Not just surface level questions. Don’t throw attack bombs. Don’t let things build up. Address things quickly. Identify your hot topics right now. Can’t include sarcasm, shaming, blaming.
You never drift into intimacy; you have to be intentional. (Physical, spiritual, emotional)
Mine for the story under the story.
We are partners in marriage. We don’t try to rule each other.
When you get stuck, know who to go to.
Ask for the gift of repentance. Help me change first.
My spouse is an amazing spouse, but a lousy savior.
Give each other grace and space.
Laugh often. Be weird.
Be unoffendable. This doesn't mean you don't get hurt, but you know where to place it. And it doesn’t become your identity.
Become an expert at forgiveness.
Main Session // Interview
Tim Ross @upsetthegram
If God doesn’t ask you to plant a church, don’t.
Don’t edit out what God did just to spare someone else’s feelings.
Assignment: Sent to build, built to send.
After you pass the baton, get out of the way.
Submission is the secret sauce of success.
Your vision has to die before it can grow.
I want to be able to do things that only He can get credit for.
David: “Today the Lord will conquer you and the Lord will kill you.” God has a part to play and so do I.
I don’t want to be anywhere God isn’t.
When you get a word for what's next, don’t drop what's now.
Obedience is the marker not metrics. Obedience means everything.
When you can’t do it brave, do it scared.
I am comfortable with discomfort.
Everybody is trying to make it to the top, I’m calling people down.
Those in ministry who have fallen: Common issue was that they didn’t have anyone to talk to.
Be honest about where you are.
Main Session
Charlotte Gambill @charlgambill
Good worship is like anesthetic so He can cut us.
Leadership is not something you choose. It chooses you.
You cannot detach yourself from what God has attached to you.
Your calling is not generic but specific.
The fingerprint of God is on your life for such a time as this.
What you choose you change.
We look for “10”s, God looks for “2”s.
Be secure in your own skin.
I am responsible for giving birth to what chose me.
Others don’t have to understand it because it didn’t choose them but you.
God is not interested in your excess but your sacrifice.
Entrustment and entitlement are entirely different
Get out of the wrong rooms and into the right rooms.
Stop comparing yourself and be who God called you to be.
Go in the strength you have. Judges 6:14
Main Session // Breaking Stones and a Sword
Stephen Chandler @stephenrchandler
1 Sam 17:48-51
God’s church is beautiful.
Because I love God’s church, I love God’s people.
It’s God’s will that your church grow.
Healthy things grow.
It’s prayer and stewardship.
We’re employed for the problems.
You have to know who you are and double down. Eph 4:11-12
God is the one who gives different callings.
God has given certain people certain graces for certain gifts.
Are you going to wear the armor culture is telling you or use the sling and rock I have anointed?
Every strength has a weakness. Know your weaknesses.
Oftentimes the vision moves faster than people’s healing process.
Be humble enough to steal.
Some of us are intimidated by things God wants to make bow down.
The stone didn't kill Goliath, David had to still cut his head off.
Be true to who you are but humble enough to learn from others.
I either lead a balanced ministry or I changed the great commission.
Don’t celebrate faithfulness and ignore fruitfulness.
Last words of great commission I will be with you always.
It doesn't matter the giant in front of you because God is in you.
Round Table // Longevity in Ministry
Longevity has to deal with the heart.
The habits and patterns you put into place, will help you get to the end.
Ministry is not what you do but who you are.
Longevity is not about staying in the same role or church forever, but a faithful follower of Jesus.
Some endings are necessary.
Name where you are.
Don't confuse God’s promises with man’s plans.
What are your current systems and patterns to encounter God?
Pursue freedom.
Am I willing to hear feedback and how do I respond?
The kindest thing you can do for people is tell them the truth.
Become an expert in forgiveness and repair.
When you are triggered, it doesn't mean you didn't forgive simply that your emotions were triggered.
Separate honor (position) from honesty (behavior).
If you’re not under authority you can’t have it. Who is pouring into those you are following?
Round Table // Emotionally Healthy Leadership
Kimberly B.
Ask yourself daily: Where am I experiencing feelings of joy and peace? Where am I experiencing sadness, apathy, and a sense of life draining out of me?
If you were only allowed to share about the things you actually practice, how much would you have to say?
An Emotionally Healthy Leader acknowledges his heart.
God is more concerned with the heart in which we are doing things rather than the things we actually do.
An Emotionally Healthy Leader knows how to handle their heart.
Expose, Submit and Surrender your heart. Ps 139:23
He might tell you to stop or start something
How we handle our inner life will be visible in our public life.
If you pet sin in private, it will show up in public.
Guard your heart. Prov 4:23
An Emotionally Healthy Leader knows how to check their heart.
A healthy heart is cultivated by the spirit and yields the fruit of this spirit. Matt 7:15-20
We can gauge the health of our heart by the fruit of our lives.
If you can't talk to God about it, you shouldn't be telling others about it.
I want you to say things to God that you don't think you should say to Him.
I’m F.I.N.E. Feelings Internalized Not Expressed.
There is no arrival place of good with God.
Onions vs mangoes. We have layers.
Sabbath is not a suggestion
Main Session
Randy Bezet @randybezet
Exodus 23:20-26
There is a tension of where we are and where God has called us to be.
But I will not drive them out quickly, but little by little.
New levels, new devils.
The higher you go, the more training you need.
Some of you are waiting for the keys but you’re not ready yet.
Have you really grown in the things God has called you to?
You are in preparation mode.
Quit trying to be discovered, and focus on being developed.
Are you managing what God has already given you?
The oil is already in the house.
Quit praying for just more.
Cultivate an environment for God's presence.
We have a lot of noise in our lives as leaders.
How are we going to know the strategies if we don’t have the spirit of God.
The battles are won or lost in the spirit.
What's birthed in the flesh must be maintained by the flesh, but what is birthed in the spirit God maintains.
Create a quiet place where you can hear from God.
As long as he sought the Lord God made him prosper. 2 Chron 26:5
Your feelings will lie to you.
Just because you don't feel Him doesn’t mean He is not there.
Learn the discipline of doing the right things.
You will be remembered for how you end, not start.
A person who is on their face before God can never fall from that position.
Pay attention to and listen to God’s Word.
We are educated way more than our ability to obey.
Be careful what settles in your life.
When you’re in pain, you can’t think clearly.
When they attend what God reveals, that’s where they are blessed. Prov 28:18
To learn more about Relate Conference, please visit https://www.relateconference.com/.
