Quotes from the book: The Like Switch

• I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

• Friend signals: increased eye contact, raised eye brows, head tilt, jutting out chin.

• Friendship Formula: Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity = Friendship

• Your nonverbal (how you behave) and verbal (what you say) communications send signals to those around you.

• Strangers are what friends are made of.

• You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

• Because people often SEE you before they HEAR you, the nonverbal signals you send them can influence their opinion.

• Smiling faces are judged to be more attractive, more likeable, and less dominant. A smile portrays confidence, happiness, and enthusiasm.

• One way we signal to a speaker that we are engaged with them and that they should continue is with a head nod.

• Just because your cell is ringing doesn’t mean you are obligated to answer it.

• Observing foot positions/ behavior offers clues as to which group will accept a new member and which will be reluctant to do so.

• You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people that you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

• Empathetic statements keep the focus of the conversation on the person you are talking with rather than on yourself.

• Words cannot change reality, but they can’t change how people perceive reality.

• If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.

• Commonalities connect people.

• I recommend you use the “breadcrumb” approach to distributing information about yourself. 

• Individuals who use humor and social encounters are perceived as more likable.

• Who you associate with matters.

• In American society, men and women often defined self-worth in different ways. In the most general terms men derive a sense of self-esteem and social status from their ability or potential ability to earn money, impress women, and on high priced objects like nice cars and real estate. Many women gain a sense of self-esteem and social status through displays of physical beauty, youthfulness, and relationships with others.

• Extroverts get their energy from being with other people and seek stimulation from their environment.

• Introverts expand energy when they engage socially and seek alone time to recharge their batteries.

• People like to be complemented. 

• Glory has a short expiration date; goodwill has a long shelf life.

• When it comes to establishing and building friendships through verbal behavior, take your cue from LOVE (listen, observe, vocalize, and empathize.)

• Pay attention when people speak so you are fully aware of what they are saying.

• Words mean different things to different people.

• People need to listen more than they talk. The proof of this is the Lord gave you two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you speak.

• Elicitation is the ability to obtain sensitive information from people without them realizing they are providing you with this data.

• People have a need to be right, but people have a stronger need to correct others. 

• Touching represents a reliable gauge to measure the intensity of a relationship.

• Individuals lean toward people or things they like and distance themselves from those they don’t.

• If the person you are talking with is looking at you but their torso and feet are pointing in another direction, he or she is not fully engaged.

• 70% of all information is transferred between individuals over food and drink.

• Anger triggers the fight or flight response, which mentally and physically prepares the body for survival.

• The body takes about 20 minutes to return to normal after a full fight or flight response.

• Good relationships, short or long term, take effort to bloom.

• The Internet should be seen as a tool to learn more about the people you are considering to develop relationships with, whether that person is someone you meet face-to-face or online.

• Whenever you’re going to post some thing online, always keep the sentence in mind: would I be embarrassed if what I am about to do with suddenly appear on the front page of my local newspaper tomorrow, in a month, or in 10 years?

• The right relationship is worth the wait.

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